The day where it all changed
I wanted to include today’s blog entry into this week’s Lupus part 1 and 2 posts. This incident has really shaped a lot of who I am today (and happened prior to being diagnosed with SLE). The following true events is really the entire reason behind why I do what I do. I hope you enjoy!
Happy Scaling.
It was July 15, 2015,
I just finished dental school, one month prior. I was living it up, and very excited for my future life! Someone had forgone their acceptance in the perio/implant program, and your girl was carefully selected to interview and told that I would be staying an extra 3 years at my dental school and began my perio and implant program in 2 weeks. I was SO ready to manifest my dream of becoming a periodontist. I had started to low key go after a perio spot D2 year, but the doubts and fears always got the best of me and I missed the first application cycle. So when I was accepted after someone else decided perio was not a good fit, I thought it was divine intervention that I was accepted.
Little did I know that my entire life was about to change in ONE second.
I remember feeling super bushy tailed this particular morning because I woke up early and at that time, it was rare I woke up on time. A summer day in Southern California, not too hot …and not too cold. Early meant that I wouldn’t have to fight the people of SoCal for a parking spot. This prime parking spot meant that I would have to cross a busy intersection for the short journey into the perio clinic. The dental school and resident clinic are all in the main campus of school, this was directly next to the hospital, and not too far from the freeway. I was crossing the pedestrian walkway, when my entire life changed in an instant.
I have total amnesia of what happened next, but the following is my version of events:
As I was walking across the crosswalk, I was struck by a large vehicle.
The impact tossed my body just shy of 10 yards. The major injuries included a skull fracture, lung collapse, spleen rupture, and I had four brain hemorrhages (one was a large subarachnoid hemorrhage). I laid unconscious on the pavement of the street and a couple of dental students rushed to my body to see how they could help. They waited for the ambulance to take me to the ER. In the ER, efforts were made to stop the bleeding and get me stable. I was lucky to be alive. After I was stabilized, I stayed in the ICU for a few weeks, and in the hospital for months, then finally an outpatient hospital with better food (thanks to everyone who would take me outside food).
While I was in the hospital, old friends and new friends would visit. Those family and friends that couldn’t visit, would pray for me, send cards, texts, flowers, and snacks (thank you for the snacks), and send well wishes. I was so joyously overwhelmed with support and kindness. My mom let go of her retail business to be with me full time while I rehabbed in California. She would also sneak Purl (my kitty) in her leopard coach purse to spend time with me in the hospital.
Simple tasks that were part of my every day were hard. Speaking Spanish was impossible, even recalling certain words in English wasn’t going smoothly, I forgot a few familiar names to faces. Walking or even taking a shower was a task, the nurses would get frustrated with me because I would take off to the restroom without their supervision (in my defense they would take a long time to get to the room). Still, I wanted to attend classes, read lectures, and learn about perio.
My soul was completely and utterly crushed.
Not because I almost died, not because I was afraid I could not rehab back to health, —but because I really wanted to be a periodontist — I was afraid I would lose my spot in the program because of the time I spent in the hospital. The entire first quarter of residency, I took a medical leave (not by choice but by recommendation of the program director). I felt so behind. I was missing all the didactics and clinical training— but doing my best keeping up with reading books and articles in my hospital bed. It was tough, the new perio language was all foreign, and my brain felt so foggy and jumbled.
Becoming a periodontist was the motivation that kept me pushing forward.
After about 60 days, I was finally released from the hospital and began the looooong process of healing. The physical healing included countless doctors appointments, pain management, and physical therapy. Still, I was not at the point where I had the energy or physical stamina to see patients on clinic. Sitting in class all day was even taxing. I had a phenomenal doctor of physical therapy —he later became a great friend and is included in my support system. My friend/doctor was able to recognize that I wanted to get on the clinic floor, so he figured out quickly that the way to get me to do exercises was to dangle the “ this will get you to see your patients” carrot in front of me. Mentally, took care of myself by starting cognitive therapy to deal with the PTSD and recovery process that I was going through. I could not have done any of that without my incredible support system.
Moving Forward.
I was slowly eased back into clinic and didactics part time, still not participating in all of the course work. which left me feeling behind again, because I would miss bits and pieces of information.
Eventually tho… I started to thrive.
I was doing well, both on clinic with patients and in classes. My memory came back and I was able to recall authors, summerize studies word for word, and any periodontist reading this knows how much we have to read and memorize. I was given the green light to double up PGY1 year and PGY2 year, and I quickly caught up. I started to get momentum when I would be awarded the many scholarships I was applying for, I felt validated and even more motivated. Eventually, I became chief resident. I would help mediate between residents, faculty, and staff, organize patient distribution, organize meetings, bring on guest speakers, etc. This is also about the time when I started to lecture. I then had the pleasure of meeting predoc students interested in perio, eventually thanks to one of my co residents —a perio predoc study club formed. I started to share my story more openly, as many of these people had been a part of my healing, and saw me grow and blossom into the woman I had become.
Closing remarks: I’m not done growing and not done healing, this is still a journey but I hope that by sharing part of my story it can motivate others to keep going and to keep following their dream (even if that dream changes). Read next Dr. Ashley’s post about how she quit dentistry and came back.
Written by Yvette.