Hometown Girl or City Kitty
Choosing where you live after you’ve completed your education, can be just as stressful as choosing where to go to school.
This Pocket post is about the thought process that helped me settle down in my city, and what questions I asked myself in order to figure out where home was.
Somewhere in the Southwest. Photo by Dr. Yvette in New Mexico.
How do you choose where to live after you’ve completed dental school (or law, medical, physical therapy school, etc.) ? What’s better for some people might not be the best choice for others. Is it best to live in a small town, or a big city ? What questions do you ask yourself in order to find the right answer ?…. Is there a right answer ? Do you place a lot of value on the cost of taxes, gas…. or rent ? Or are those financials not even on your radar? Are you married ?…Single ? Looking for a poppin night life, or the quiet suburbs ? Do you have kids, or plan to have kids ? What school district is best for your family? Do you have to take a different board exam to practice in that state? Is it better for business to move to a smaller town, because there is less competition ? Or do you want to be in a big city with more competition and somehow make it work ? Do you suck it up and live in a less than desirable place while you pay your loans off, and THEN move to your dream city when your financially stable ? What to do…
These were just some of the many questions running circles in my mind (cue the Post Malone song), intentionally driving me insane. I’m the type of person who likes to weigh every pro, every con, make a list, and THEN decide what to do. After this whole process is done and choices are made, I expect the perfect outcome… After all, i’ve thought this through… thoroughly. Unfortunately, that is NOT how life works !
Anyway, I was finishing up residency, and I knew that living in a big city was going to be expensive. I was also very aware that I stacked up a pretty hefty student loan debt. I went to a really expensive (but so worth it) dental school and residency program, so I had/have an insane amount of student debt looming over my head (I can talk about student debt in a later post). I wanted to live in a city where I would be able to pay my loans as soon as possible.
I knew at a very young age that I was going to be a dentist one day. I grew up in a small rural town and always dreamed of moving away for dental school. My hometown had a small college, but no dental or medical school (at that time). I went to undergrad in my hometown because I was super lucky and had full ride scholarship. I knew that dental school would be expensive, so I thought I would save $ by staying in state for my bachelors degree. Also, I was a little sheltered and would have probably not fared well, had I been on my own away from friends and family at such a young age.
When I finally moved away for dental school, I honestly thought I would never go back. —Fast forward to being done with residency—After lots of hesitation and this feeling in my gut telling me not to go back…I moved back. I justified that gut feeling by telling myself that I had a really good job opportunity, and I was making a mature choice because it would be better for my financial future in the long run. Southern California was where I had spent the last 8 years of my life. I was terrified to be a young new periodontist in Southern California floating among a sea of talented surgeons.
Moving back home to a small town was a stable choice. That choice quickly proved to be the wrong one. I was miserable, my systemic health declined to the point where I could not even get out of bed some days, and the weather was doing terrible things to my skin. After 5 months at my first job, I did some deeeep soul searching. I was on a mission to find the perfect job in the perfect city where everything really felt right. It took 7 long months, but it was so worth it. (I’ll discuss in a later post what my soul searching entailed)
SoOo. What’s the right choice to make if moving cities/towns is weighing on you ? The answer is that I don’t have one. I made a choice which I figured out early on was the wrong choice. Some of my friends have figured out that the choice was maybe the right one at the time, but the wrong choice for where they were later on in life. If after dental school (or med school, graduate school, law school, whatev.) you feel stuck, then I would sit and make a list of the pro’s and con’s, and consider the following questions (in no particular order) and figure out what’s of value to you. And then my last and final piece of advice is that I would be okay with re directing my path if whatever I chose didn’t make me happy. I’m all for changing gears towards a different future if it leads to happiness.
Questions I asked myself when deciding where to live.
1. What is best for your family? Do you have children, and want to be near good schools? Or are you single and ready to mingle with other people your age in a town with a poppin night life ! — you can’t have both IMHO.
2. Do you want open space like a home with acreage ? Or are you okay with living in an apartment or loft ?
3. Are you okay with being stuck in traffic for hours to get to work ? Or do prefer to get to work and home quickly?
4. Do you want to feel like you’re a part of the community, or do you prefer privacy?
5. What do you value in extra curricular activities ? The beach, hiking, shopping, the market, dining etc. You only spend so much time at work, it’s important to have a good work/life balance as well.
Really only YOU know the answers to these questions, and only YOU know what makes you truly happy. Once I was able to figure out what resonated with me, I had the courage to follow my dreams towards happiness…even if it meant letting some people down. I chose to move to my dream city and have faith in myself that somehow everything would work itself out.
Somewhere in California. (photo by me. San Diego)